Staring at this open field, feeling good just being here and thinking back to where I was last year at this same time. I was fighting Anemia due to Kidney failure. Anemia is a condition where you don't have enough healthy blood cells to carry oxygen to your body tissues.
Some symptoms of Anemia is shortness of breath, extreme tiredness and weakness just to name a few. This was a rough time for me because I was always tired and weak. There were times when doing the basic things that are part of our normal daily routine was a struggle.
See I was too weak and tired to do anything, I was unable to stand for long periods of time or even lift my hands to brush my teeth or pour a glass of water without feeling exhausted and tired. Every move I made was exhausting, I had to sit down in between and rest.
But throughout all of it God was there for me. He gave me the strength when I needed it the most and family was always there to help or a phone call away. I was grateful for the help but relying on people was never my thing. I can take care of myself, that's what I thought lol. I spent most of my days laying in bed or on the sofa watching TV. I wondered everyday how long this was going to go on, when was my life going to be normal. I was even missing the chores I use to do around my apartment, but complained about while doing. lol. (laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc) you know what I am talking about.
My doctor was treating me for the Anemia but the medicine was not as effective. I was taking weekly shots to boost my red blood counts, after the shot I would get a burst of energy and feel well enough to function but after a few weeks my blood counts would drop and I would start to feel weak and tired all over. This went on for months.
About the end of last year the doctor decided to try a different treatment to help with the production of the red blood cells. After a few dosage, my levels started to rise and hold steady. As time went by I started to feel better. Each week I felt stronger and was able to do the basic things and even more. My energy and strength was sustained throughout the day and at night, I was able to sleep comfortable.
But throughout this journey, God never left my side. He provided for me in every way. He comforted me when I was worried and afraid, he strengthened my faith and gave me hope each day that I would make it through.
This journey has made my relationship with God stronger. I never lost faith or trust in God, but I did have moments where I questioned, if this was the life I was going to be living ( tired and weak) unable to do the basic things and relying on others to do for me. During these times I reminded myself of Gods promises and how far he has bought me. When I started to feel down I would pray and I think back on all the good things God has done for and how he has bought me through other serious situations.
God is always with us, he has a plan for our life. Sometimes we don't understand why we go through the things we do but it's all for our good.
My outlook on life is so different now. I have learned to appreciate all things in life especially the small things that I took for granted or complained about. I now see things as " I get to do it" not as "I have to do it".
I look forward to getting out of bed each morning, walking around my apartment, washing dishes, folding laundry, looking out the window, going outside for a walk and enjoying the scenery. The simple things that I really missed. I was worried and fearful that I would not be able to do and enjoy these things again. But through Gods love and Mercy I am able to.
Don't take the small things for granted, you really don't know how much you will miss them until you can't do them anymore.
I am at peace with this journey, knowing that god is with me and he is in control.
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Lucy
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